The Octonauts' Crazy Christmas
by NeversideFaerie
Summary: Just a little literary treat from me to say Merry Christmas! Let's hope you're having a better time than poor Captain Barnacles...


"Oh dear," said Captain Barnacles seriously.

The frown he wore on his face was definitely appropriate for the desperate situation before him. He was also rather tempted to slap a paw over his eyes (and indeed he would have done if the show's designers had made his arms longer) at the sight of a pirate kitten dangling upside-down by one of his boots, which had become tangled in the string of fairy lights wrapped around the Christmas tree, by now looking dangerously lopsided.

"Just get me out of this scurvy mess, me hearties!" wailed Kwazii, causing the string to slip further downward.

The tree that had been set up in the HQ happened to be the rather large variety, and falling from near the top (which, of course, Kwazii had to climb up to whilst helping Tweak and the vegimals with the decorations) could probably result in some kind of injury, which was why a worried Peso was hovering nearby.

"Don't move, Kwazii!" he called upward, "We're going to get you down!"

"Just be quick, mateys! This cord isn't going to hold for much longer!"

The vegimals fainted in unison.

"Oh me, oh my…" grumbled an exasperated Tweak from the top of the step-ladder she'd been using to decorate the tree, both paws on her face. She sighed deeply.

"Octonauts, we need a plan of action!" shouted Barnacles commandingly, "Tweak, hold onto the fairy lights and _don't let go!_ "

"You got it, Cap!" Tweak grabbed onto the string of lights.

"Dashi, we need a step-ladder!"

"I'm on it, Captain!" Dashi raced over to the OctoChute and hopped inside.

"Shellington and Peso, we need you to steady the tree."

"Right away, Captain!" they chorused, rushing to their stations.

"Tunip, Barrot, Codish, Grouber, Tominnow and…um…whoever the other vegimals are, we need you to fetch a blanket."

The vegimals chirped and saluted before all rushing off to find one, except for Codish who wasn't quite certain what they were doing and stood around confusedly for a while before following the others.

"What did I tell ya, Kwaz?" said Tweak, "About how ya shouldn't lean too far on this ladder?"

She mentally made a note of never letting her friend help with the fairy lights again. Sure, she liked Kwazii, but Kwazii definitely liked her too and sometimes went a bit too far with trying to impress her. The lieutenant was a daredevil as it was, but when it came to showing off to a girl he liked, he could be downright lethal!

"I was only trying to help, me hearty," responded Kwazii ashamedly.

"What am I gonna do with ya?" replied the green bunny, pulling a carrot out of her belt with her spare paw and munching on it.

Meanwhile, Dashi slid a ladder through the OctoChute (with some help from Barnacles) and the Vegimals pulled an emergency blanket out of one of the HQ's cupboards before each holding onto a corner or side.

"Um…mateys? What's that for…?" asked Kwazii suspiciously.

"It's just a precaution, Kwazii," assured Barnacles, "We should have you down in no time."

 _That didn't answer me question…_ thought Kwazii.

Barnacles and Dashi set up the step-ladder whilst the vegimals positioned themselves below.

"Shiver me whiskers…" said Kwazii nervously.

He had to admit that this was the most bizarre predicament he'd ever landed himself in – he'd been captured by a siphonophore, pursued by a great white shark and nearly eaten by gulper eels, but never before had he been suspended upside-down on a Christmas tree! He was almost beginning to feel sorry for the baubles, which had to stay in this position for the entire holiday season.

Captain Barnacles ascended the step-ladder, which was steadied by Dashi, and rested a paw on Kwazii's boot.

"Hold still while I untangle you," he instructed.

Kwazii nodded and obeyed, trembling a little as he was finally freed from the grasp of the Christmas lights.

"How are you going to get me-AAAAAAARRRRRGH!" he asked, before it was too late.

The last loop had been undone and Kwazii had gone plummeting down through the air, straight into the vegimals' awaiting blanket.

"You could have told me, matey!"

"Thank you for your quick response, Octonauts," said Barnacles, changing the subject, "I must have the finest crew I could have ever wished for."

"Oh, thank you Captain," responded Shellington, "But can we let go now?"

He and Peso were still faithfully holding onto the trunk of the fir tree.

"Certainly," responded Barnacles, straightening the lights.

Peso, Shellington and also Tweak simultaneously let go of their posts, all oblivious to the fact the tree was still rather lopsided and would need some adjustment, or else…

"OH ME, OH MY!"

Tweak dived for the fairy lights, but it was too late. Her paws grappled thin air as the towering Christmas tree came toppling down, knocking Captain Barnacles right off his ladder and across the room. The tree landed on top of a startled Kwazii and the squealing vegimals, baubles flying in all directions, whilst the other Octonauts watched in absolute horror.

"Oh dear," whispered Peso, "More people might be hurt than I thought…"

…

 _Five hours later…_

"Captain Kipper's fine Shloer?" exclaimed Kwazii, "Oh, you shouldn't have, Tweak!"

"Anything for ya, Kwazii."

As soon as the pirate kitten turned away, she gave a deep sigh and looked exhausted.

Captain Barnacles was sat on a chair, resting his bandaged leg on a stool from Inkling's library, trying not to be grumpy. It was Christmas, after all, and he didn't want the "Scrooge" stereotype to be bestowed upon him by any of the crew.

"It's your turn, Captain," prompted Kwazii, passing him a present to open.

Barnacles resisted the urge to flash him a "you did this to me" glare. It wasn't as if he was the only one who'd sustained injuries after that disastrous decorating session. Kwazii and some of the vegimals had also undergone some bandage wrapping by Peso, but at least all of them were still on their feet.

He took the parcel and lifted up the label.

"From Kwazii," he read out unenthusiastically.

His first officer started to look excited as he slowly removed the wrapping paper.

As soon as the Captain had unfolded the paper, his eyes widened and he pulled out his gift for everyone to see. It was a golden compass with an expertly embossed picture of a flower on the lid, slightly battered, but that was only evidence to Barnacles that this was not a contemporary instrument.

"Where did you get this from?" he asked, unable to take his eyes off the beautiful mechanism.

"Um, er…" Kwazii looked sheepish. "Me junk cupboard, actually. I forgot to do me Christmas shopping in time!"

The Captain beamed. "Kwazii, it's perfect. This relic looks as though it may be a hundred years old if not older! How did you get your paws on such a fine piece of apparatus in the first place?"

Kwazii scratched his neck. "Well, er…maybe I…um…" Suddenly, he remembered. "Shiver me whiskers! I found it in a treasure chest back in me old pirate days."

"Well, this is certainly a treasure," responded Barnacles, studying the compass admiringly, "Thank you for giving it to me. How about a big bear hug?"

The Captain got up carefully and gave the lieutenant a cuddle, thumping him on the back.

"Merry Christmas, Captain," said Kwazii.

"Happy Christmas, Kwazii," replied Barnacles, letting go of him.

"I sure can't wait to see what ya gotten me, Kwaz!" interrupted Tweak, "It better be real good after all that trouble ya caused earlier."

Not wanting her to tease him any longer, Kwazii slid out a present from underneath the (now repositioned) tree and handed it to her. "Here you go, me hearty."

Tweak opened it up and gasped. Inside was a plush toy carrot, complete with an adorable smiling face and rosy cheeks.

"Where in tarnation did ya get this!?"

"Aha! Secret."

"I thought ya said ya hadn't got time to go Christmas shoppin'?"

"Oh…er…actually I ordered it online…months ago. I saw it on eBay and knew you'd like it, Tweak."

"Well, you're totally right Kwaz! I flippin' love it!"

She leaned over and, much to his surprise, kissed him on the cheek!

Kwazii blushed blossom pink and everyone laughed. Before long, Kwazii joined in too and the HQ was filled with their sound of their joyful mirth.


End file.
